Hacker Review Analysis

At this time I did something more important than writing the 200 words. I helped a new student set up her blog. 

Overall, the Hacker exercises were a good way for me to understand how to write clear sentences. I was able to find mistakes that I make writing on an everyday basis, as well as gain confidence in the things I am doing well.

Hacker Review of Clear Sentences

1. E-ex 8-1 Active vs. passive verbs: This exercise was helpful, because although I thought I knew all about the topic I was reminded that the subject should name the actor.
2. E-ex 8-2 Active vs. be verbs: This exercise was good for me because it made me realize that verbs themselves can decide the "power" of a sentence.
   
3. E-ex 8-3 Active verbs  (edit and compare): Another good exercise, because it made me realize that I do not always use active verbs correctly.
4. E-ex 9-1 Parallelism: Although never a bad reminder, this exercise did not really help me, because it is a topic that I already understand and use.
5. E-ex 9-2 Parallelism: This was much the same as exercise 9-1. I did not struggle, because I know the concept well.
6. E-ex 9-3 Parallelism  (edit and compare): I found this helpful, just because my edits were the same as theirs. It made me confident that I know the topic.
7. E-ex 10-1 Needed words: This exercise proved helpful because I quickly realized it can be tricky to always know which words are needed.
8. E-ex 10-2 Needed words  (edit and compare): This exercise was good because it helped me clear up the confusion from the previous exercise.
9. E-ex 11-1 Mixed constructions: This exercise was somewhat beneficial, although something I was confident in, it did help me with ordering sentences.
10. E-ex 11-2 Mixed constructions  (edit and compare): This exercise was super beneficial. Although I was confident in the prior exercise I found myself correcting correct sentences that didn't need it. I went through it a few times to clear up my confusion.
11. E-ex 12-1 Misplaced modifiers: This exercise was both beneficial and not. I understood the concept and how to do it, but it helped me realize why the modifiers are placed where they are.
12. E-ex 12-2 Misplaced modifiers  (edit and compare): This exercise did not help me much, because I already learned what I didn't know from the previous exercise.
13. E-ex 12-3 Dangling modifiers: Since my group is working on the subject there wasn't much to learn here, but it was beneficial to go over again for presenting.
14. E-ex 12-4 Dangling modifiers  (edit and compare): Once again, I already knew what was wrong, but was beneficial for presenting purposes.
15. E-ex 13-1 Shifts: person and number: This exercise was quite helpful to me, because I am not always consistent with my noun usage.
16. E-ex 13-2 Shifts: tense: This wasn't helpful to me, because it was quite simple. It was a topic that was knocked into me time and time again from elementary school.
17. E-ex 13-3 Shifts: This exercise was beneficial, because I know it is something that I am not very good at doing.
18. E-ex 13-4 Shifts  (edit and compare): This was good, because I was able to use what I had learned from the previous exercise. I believe this will help me with editing papers.
19. E-ex 14-1 Choppy sentences: This exercise wasn't very helpful, because it is a mistake I rarely make so I had no problem going through the examples.
20. E-ex 14-2 Choppy sentences  (edit and compare): Although the concept proved easy, this exercise helped me realize why some sentences are choppy.
21. E-ex 14-3 Subordination: This exercise was probably the most beneficial to me. It seems to be a mistake that I probably make time and time again without knowing. It helped me understand what should be emphasized in a sentence.

Dangling Modifiers

A dangling modifier is when the meaning of a sentence is left "dangling" to mean something else because something is left out.

Examples:

• Reaching the heart, a bypass was performed on the severely blocked arteries. 
• Reaching the heart, the surgeon performed a bypass on the severely blocked arteries. 
• The second one is correct, because the person performing the action is named in the subject of the sentence so the opening phrase doesn't dangle.  

• Determined to learn to read, Wanda was delighted to discover that there was an adult literacy program in her apartment building.  
• Determined to learn to read, an adult literacy program in Wanda's apartment was just what she had been looking for. 
• The first one is correct, because the subject of the sentence names the actor.

Story-in-a-box student review

Here

My Problem Study

I chose to study commas, because for years now I can fully admit that they have been my biggest problem. Often times I felt as if I were using too many commas, and so I would take them out to the point where I wasn't using enough. Enough has come to enough, and I looked to LEO to help straighten out my confusion.

1. Use a comma before a coordinating conjunction (and, or, but, nor, yet, for, so) that separates two independent clauses.
• I was on time for the bus, but I forgot my ticket.
2. Use a comma after an introductory word, phrase, or clause that comes before a main clause.
• In fact, two out of three have been from wealthy families.
3. Use commas around words, phrases, and clauses in the middle of a sentence when they aren't essential to the meaning of the sentence.
• It is time to go, however, if you wish to stay here you may.
4. Use commas between items in a series.
• I need to buy a towel, swimsuit, and goggles for my day at the beach.  
5. Use commas before and after a quotation within a sentence.
• My mother always said, "The faster you wash dishes the faster you're done."
6. Use a comma before an afterthought or contrasting element.
• When deciding on schools, we must consider the whole picture, not just one aspect.
7. Use commas to set off geographical names, items in date, and professional titles.
• My dream is to one day visit Boston, Massachusetts.

I think that these rules are simple enough to get me going for now. I hope one day it will almost be second nature!

What Makes a Good Story?

Revised Version in Order of Importance

1. Has a clear structure: introduction, body, and conclusion
2. Story has a well defined thesis that it sticks to
3. Has smooth transitions from point to point to make them clear
4. Contains good grammar so it "reads easy"
5. Story has well developed characters, but not too many so the reader doesn't get confused
6. Dialogue should not overwhelm the storyline, should not look like a script
7. Must capture the interest of the reader, and continue to "feed" them by allowing them to ask questions
8. Ends in some sort of summary
9. Voice is continuous throughout and all information is relevant
10. Author should be an expert
11. Could add pictures to make even more interesting

Story In A Box

"Grab me that box... please, I have a story and do not have much time my child" exclaimed my grandfather as he struggled to breathe on his hospital bed. One thing that I will never forget is the smell of his tobacco filled sweater and his deep voice as he told my brothers story and I story after story about his days in the military. The story in a box has lived with me for over fifteen years, and now I stare at the items and remember that saddened hospital room in 1995 come alive to the stories of grandfather's past.

“…Ok children pay close attention, I want you to remember this story and pass it down for me. There are 12 items in this box, and each symbolizes something in my past. This story is different then the other stories I tell you children. This one is very special to all of us.

It all started in 1973 when the boys and I decided to take a canoe trip down the river and have a little fun over summer. The canoe was made from wood, and had canvas around the outside. It was a very simple but beautiful craft. We passed many things down the river that I remember. The thing that caught my eye the most was a Finka, very similar to the statue here. I remember all of the colors this beautiful farm possessed. So much so that you kids might even realize that when I built our farm I made it to look much like it!

As we moved down the river we moved passed an Indian reservation. We pulled up the canoe and stopped by to ask them for some food. We ate and danced with them, and that is when I met one very solemn African woman. She didn’t appear to fit in well, but was very beautiful. I asked her to dance; I remember her sweeping me off my feet, she had very brisk moves. We fell in love that night; you younglings might even call her grandma. The next day she would join us on our journey. Before we left we stopped by to visit the carver. We had heard many stories about this man, and it seemed important that we stop to see him before moving forward. He almost looked like a drummer when we approached; he moved effortlessly wearing a hat and shall. I asked him for a keepsake to take with. For two dollars out of my leather hand-stitched Mongolian wallet he’d carve my very own head. I remember having a 50 in euros in my wallet at the time and so I used the coins from my collection book. The collection book is from Singapore and each coin has meanings that you can read.

The next morning we left bright and early. Your grandma brought with her Chinese throw that her parents had given her when she was born. Her parents conducted a lot of business between China and Africa before settling in the United States. As you can see, the throw is very old. I believe it’s from the 1850s. It was a smart thing she did because the next day on our trip back we didn’t have very many supplies. The weather caught up with us that day. We had to seek shelter in the trees before the wind blew us all over board. All we had was a Glass blown Malta from the island of Gozo. We used this to shelter the little bit of light that we could find. As we walked we kept picking up chestnuts. They are small but edible and we knew that if we could scavenge things up we could possibly make bread.

Fortunately we made it through the night, but unfortunately the canoe was not as lucky. That next morning we were lucky enough to get spotted by a family of hikers. They had a ruler and judged the damage to our canoe to a hole about 3 feet. They helped us patch it up, and now every year we send them a thank you letter. We always stamp the bottom of it with this stamper. It was a gift from them that day after hearing about your grandmother’s ties to China. The stamper is from China and has very elegant patterns. This is a tradition I want my grandchildren to continue to theirs. It is always nice to know you have someone to rely on” Grandfather.

I will keep this box, and continue to pass it on to my own children. The 12 artifacts in it resemble my grandfather and the beginning of our existence. I can see now why it was always so special and why he waited so long to tell us. He wanted us all to understand. 

Inventory

Inventory and description of 12 items

1. Wooden head figure about the size of a softball. Lips and eyes are colored.

2. A figure of a Finke, or Spanish farm. About 3" long, very colored and detailed with greens.

3. Statue, 1 foot tall, of a black woman from Africa who appears to be very young.

4. A Chinese throw dated around the 1850s. Dark maroon and tans to form a flower design.

5. A standard 1 foot (12") ruler that rules and measures.

6. Glass Malta glass blown on the island of Gozo in white and green colors.

7. Wooden canoe made with tree bark with a feather inside.

8. Chinese stamper about one inch tall, tan and square. Has elegant ornamentation on top.

9. Three chestnuts, small but edible. Can be used to make bread.

10. A wooden figure of a man skipping and playing the drums. Colored, and wearing throw and hat.

11. A coin book from Singapore. The book contains details about the purpose and reason for design for each coin and contains coins for 1,5,10,20, and 50 cents as well as a dollar coin.

12. Leather walled with an elephant and tree design. One pocket inside containing 50 euro.

"Who Am I?"

People answer on a vast spectrum to the question "Who am I?" Today, students in English 191 were asked this question. Upon further research of their answers it is apparent that people write almost in three different categories of their lives. Overall you may argue that there are three specific parts of an individual; physical, cognitive, and emotional. However, each person seems to concentrate on one of these specifically. In this sense I use physical to describe external things that could be touched or documented. Such as a name, schedule, location, or education.  Cognitive relates to things a person may think or feel but cannot be seen. These may be cognitive processing differences, personality dynamics, goals and hobbies, dreams, or even taste preferences. I used emotion to define both emotional qualities, and social interactions. Examples given were culture, background, religion, childhood, interactions, and experiences. When all parts are added together each individual writes a story about who they believe they are.